Dealing With The Unexpected...

Hey There!

Over this past year, I have had to deal with so many unexpected things that I feel like I'm becoming an expert at it. When I say unexpected, I'm not meaning the happy, surprise kind. I'm meaning the, life can't get any shitter, kind. Not all of it has impacted my family, some of it has, but some of it has impacted the families of my friends, and that hurts just as much. I guess now I have tips on how to cope when life throws you a curve ball, so maybe they can help you out when you are in need. 

1. Set yourself a set amount of time to dwell on the news

When you hear something shocking and unexpected, it can completely knock the wind out of you. I freak out, panic, sob my way through the news I get, but that doesn't help anyone. I try and set myself maybe 2 hours at most to dwell on the news. I can do whatever I want during those two hours. I can cry myself through toilet rolls, or I can get angry and chuck stuff around, but once they are up this has to finish. You have to carry on when things get tough because otherwise you get stuck, and you get dragged down deeper and deeper until it consumes you (like quicksand). I know it is easier said than done, believe me, but you have to keep doing your thing and trying to move forward.

2. Go out for a walk

This is a nice escape. When you hear something you don't want to hear, getting fresh air is a good place to start. It can calm you down, but it can also help you process things as well. This time walking without headphones is okay because you can be left alone with your thoughts. You can take on board the things you have heard, and then let that sink in for a while. Once you end up back at your house again you can have more of a clear head. It doesn't solve things, but it keeps you from going mad inside your house.

3. Stay distracted

This is the best thing to do once you have had time to think about things. You cannot let your thoughts consume you, so you have to keep your mind occupied. It could be through cooking, cleaning, or even just watching a film. If you can distract yourself for even a minute, things seem better for a short amount of time, and slowly but surely these minutes will turn into hours and you'll find yourself moving forward. 

4. Give yourself a mental slap
This always works for me because once my Nan passed away, I now have her voice inside my head every single day. That might sound crazy, but it really helps in situations that I didn't see coming. I can imagine her telling me to "pull yourself together" and then giving me a slight tap, and that makes me feel better. It works though even by using your own voice. We are always talking to ourselves, even if you don't want to admit it. Listening to your own voice and having a go at yourself can be the perfect pep talk you need to pull yourself together and try and get on with things. 

5. Be with friends and family

This is probably the best, and most popular piece of advice out there. Whenever something happens, it is always best to be surrounded by family and those who love you. That's the only way you can get through things. But sometimes even family can feel like too much, and that is when you need your friends. If they are anything like mine, they will wait for you to open up about things, so if you don't want to, they are the best distraction. They will keep you laughing, and when things can't get any worse, they will always be there to help you get back together. But remember, you have to be there for them as well as they need you just as much as you need them. 

I get these pieces of advice may not be for you. I completely understand that. We are all individuals that deal with things differently, and no two of us are the same. But one thing I do know is that we are all strong enough to get through anything. I have no idea how long I have felt empty now and felt things cannot improve, but I'm plodding along. These points got me through the initial stages of hearing the news, but I'm still working on others to try and properly move on in life. 

Any advice will be greatly appreciated, and I'm sure other people will want help as well. 

Girl Without A Plan, Making Plans
xoxo

P.S. I hope this helps at least one person out there because everyone needs a little help at some point (even if they are behind a computer screen)

The Art of Loneliness...

Hey There!

So how is everyone doing?? I've been thinking about doing this blog post for a while now, but I guess it as just something I never actually wanted to complete. But now I'm here, writing this post, and hopefully some people will be able to relate. 

So when I started university in September, I knew it was going to be a struggle for me. I'm not a very outgoing person, I get nervous talking to new people, so going to a place where I knew absolutely no-one seemed like one of the scariest things in the world. Looking back on it now, I don't really know what I had to worry about. Everyone there was in the same boat, and we are all just stumbling through university. I've realised you need social support. You need people that you can moan to, and go out for lunch with, and just be plain stupid with. And if I'm being honest, I have very few of these people. I mean, I have one person. 

All but one of my friends moved away for university, but this last friend works most days now so it's hard to see her. As a group, we haven't necessarily lost contact, but we don't talk as much as we used to. When we are all around we have a really good time, and we do all really miss each other, but I can see now we all have our own separate lives. I miss this contact. Being so far away from everyone at uni, and living just with my parents, they are mostly the only people I talk to now. I miss the friendships I used to have. When people just lived around the corner and I can go and see them whenever. But now, I spend a lot of my time with my own thoughts. 

Spending time thinking to myself is not good for me. I went through a tough time a couple of years ago, and last year was tough again. I don't want to burden other people will my problems, so I keep them to myself a lot. I know this isn't a good thing to do. But until the summer, when all my friends come home, it will have to do. I'm not going to tell them my problems, I can push them aside for a couple of months and forget about them. It's not exactly a long-term solution but it gets me through day-to-day. Don't get me wrong, I am a loner. I like spending time on my own and listening to music and watching TV. But I miss being able to go for coffee with friends and actually go out, because that isn't fun to do on my own. 

I don't really know why I wrote all this to be honest. I have no idea how much sense any of this made, I just needed to get it off my chest. This is a sort of therapy for me and a way of accepting who I am. And I know that now. I need to use this blog more often. I need to get my thoughts across no matter how small or stupid. I need to just get them out there so I don't self destruct. 

Girl Without a Plan, Making Plans

xoxo

Book Review: Gone Series by Michael Grant

Hi There!

'Welcome to the FAYZ. Wherever, whenever or whyever that is.'

I may be late on the bandwagon reviewing this series of books, but believe me when I say I had the first Gone book just after it came out, and since then got them on their release dates, but I've only now got round to finishing reading Light (the final book). I have no idea why it took me so long to read it, but I'm so so SO glad I finally got round to finishing the whole series! I would rate the whole series of books as 4.5/5 for sure! It would have been a 5, but I have my reasons. 

So getting on to a summary of what these books are about. Well. Where do I even start. In simple terms, everyone above the age of 15 disappears (poofs!) under a dome, so there are only kids left. Some of them have developed powers, others have stayed normal. These kids have to deal with struggles of power, food, and mutated animals. And it is definitely a true struggle!!

I loved in these books how action packed each turn of a page is. These are just normal kids whose lives have been turned upside down, and seeing how they deal with this great change of events is extremely interesting. Of course, I couldn't love this book unless there was a hint of romance. And of course there is! (Sastrid all the way!!!!). 

The one problem I found through this whole series of books is that it is sometimes very hard to keep up and picture everything that is being described in the books. For the first couple I was able to manage, but then I started to get more confused and these books became much more complex than I ever imagined!! That was the main reason why I couldn't give it 5/5! Hopefully a TV show might help me imagine these things ;)

So who would I recommend this book to? Well, it's aimed at young adults, but I would say fully grown adults will love this book as well! It will help them understand the struggles of the younger generation as they are also focused on in these books, but it will also explain that given their independence there are some younger children that can step up to the mark. You also obviously have to have a sort of sci-fi/fantasy mind as well because otherwise you would definitely get confused with this book. No doubt about it!!

If I could, I think I'd have the power to think of an item and then have it appear in front of me. What kind of power would you like if you could??

Girl Without a Plan, Making Plans

xoxo