Dealing With The Unexpected...

Hey There!

Over this past year, I have had to deal with so many unexpected things that I feel like I'm becoming an expert at it. When I say unexpected, I'm not meaning the happy, surprise kind. I'm meaning the, life can't get any shitter, kind. Not all of it has impacted my family, some of it has, but some of it has impacted the families of my friends, and that hurts just as much. I guess now I have tips on how to cope when life throws you a curve ball, so maybe they can help you out when you are in need. 

1. Set yourself a set amount of time to dwell on the news

When you hear something shocking and unexpected, it can completely knock the wind out of you. I freak out, panic, sob my way through the news I get, but that doesn't help anyone. I try and set myself maybe 2 hours at most to dwell on the news. I can do whatever I want during those two hours. I can cry myself through toilet rolls, or I can get angry and chuck stuff around, but once they are up this has to finish. You have to carry on when things get tough because otherwise you get stuck, and you get dragged down deeper and deeper until it consumes you (like quicksand). I know it is easier said than done, believe me, but you have to keep doing your thing and trying to move forward.

2. Go out for a walk

This is a nice escape. When you hear something you don't want to hear, getting fresh air is a good place to start. It can calm you down, but it can also help you process things as well. This time walking without headphones is okay because you can be left alone with your thoughts. You can take on board the things you have heard, and then let that sink in for a while. Once you end up back at your house again you can have more of a clear head. It doesn't solve things, but it keeps you from going mad inside your house.

3. Stay distracted

This is the best thing to do once you have had time to think about things. You cannot let your thoughts consume you, so you have to keep your mind occupied. It could be through cooking, cleaning, or even just watching a film. If you can distract yourself for even a minute, things seem better for a short amount of time, and slowly but surely these minutes will turn into hours and you'll find yourself moving forward. 

4. Give yourself a mental slap
This always works for me because once my Nan passed away, I now have her voice inside my head every single day. That might sound crazy, but it really helps in situations that I didn't see coming. I can imagine her telling me to "pull yourself together" and then giving me a slight tap, and that makes me feel better. It works though even by using your own voice. We are always talking to ourselves, even if you don't want to admit it. Listening to your own voice and having a go at yourself can be the perfect pep talk you need to pull yourself together and try and get on with things. 

5. Be with friends and family

This is probably the best, and most popular piece of advice out there. Whenever something happens, it is always best to be surrounded by family and those who love you. That's the only way you can get through things. But sometimes even family can feel like too much, and that is when you need your friends. If they are anything like mine, they will wait for you to open up about things, so if you don't want to, they are the best distraction. They will keep you laughing, and when things can't get any worse, they will always be there to help you get back together. But remember, you have to be there for them as well as they need you just as much as you need them. 

I get these pieces of advice may not be for you. I completely understand that. We are all individuals that deal with things differently, and no two of us are the same. But one thing I do know is that we are all strong enough to get through anything. I have no idea how long I have felt empty now and felt things cannot improve, but I'm plodding along. These points got me through the initial stages of hearing the news, but I'm still working on others to try and properly move on in life. 

Any advice will be greatly appreciated, and I'm sure other people will want help as well. 

Girl Without A Plan, Making Plans
xoxo

P.S. I hope this helps at least one person out there because everyone needs a little help at some point (even if they are behind a computer screen)

Sorry... I Guess...

Sooooooo Hey There!

I know it has been many, many months, but I have no reason as to why I stopped writing. I guess it just phased out, and I thought no one really reads what I'm writing about so why even bother. But then I realised I wasn't writing this blog for other people, I was writing it for myself. I needed to get thoughts and things out into the open. Thoughts and feelings were started to suffocate me, but I didn't realise this until my recent holiday (there will definitely be a separate blog post about it because it was just incredible). Getting away from everything and being able to escape was nice, but it allowed me to evaluate what I needed to do in my life, and that involved this blog. So here I am. Once again, trying to get this blog post started. And I'm waffling. As always. So enough. Let's just see what's been going on.

So I last blogged back in March, and I'm not gonna lie, I can't exactly remember everything that has gone on since then haha. I mean, I went on a long LONG train journey to Hull for my friend's birthday and that was super fun because it felt like I was going to a 'real' university. Oooooo and I also saw Marnie from Geordie Shore in Kings Cross Station so that was fun!

I also managed to finish my first year of university!! WOOOOOOO!! And I passed!! WOOOOOOO!! I have absolutely no idea how I did it. But I am super super proud of myself. Going to uni on that first day seems like such a distant memory, and being that super shy scared young girl also seems like a distant memory. That doesn't now mean I'm now like a super loud and confident person, nooooo wayyyyy, but I know I can go into situations now where I don't know anyone and get to know people. Just one more woo because why not!! WOOOOOOOOO!!

After that amazing high of finishing uni, I guess my friendship group hit an all time low. On a trip to Reading to visit another friend, I guess we can say one of my friends had one to many drinks and became unable to control. I have never seen or heard anything like it in my life! I didn't know whether to be heartbroken because she was crying so much, or angry because she ruined the night, or upset because of the stuff coming out of her mouth. I guess after the whole night (where I think I heard about 2 songs in the club and the rest from the toilet floor), I realised I was upset. The things she was saying really hurt me and are pretty much engraved in my brain now. It didn't help that this friend couldn't remember anything that had happened the night before, so hearing an apology just felt pointless. This friend then didn't really talk to the rest of the friendship group after that. She knew we were pissed, but thought the best way to handle that situation was to leave it alone. This was definitely the wrong choice to make because the more you leave it, the more it looks like you don't care. After about 2 weeks the paranoia was killing me inside, so I arranged to meet with this friend so we could talk the situation through. I have no idea if it really helped. I guess it sort of did, but I don't think I'll be forgetting anything that happened anytime soon. This friend has been away for the past couple of weeks and not much of the situation between the rest of the group has been sorted face to face, so I guess eventually that will be an interesting meeting. 

After that whole curfuffle (what a weird word to try and spell!), I went away to Southampton to visit another friend at university for her birthday and OMG it was just an amazing time! Being able to just have chill time with my friends is something I have missed soooo much while they have been away and now summer is happening it is all I'm going to be doing and I'm buzzing!!

One of the best things in my whole entire lifetime has happened, I GOT TO SEE BUSTED IN CONCERT. Oh my God I have never been so excited in my life!! It is something I thought would never happen and I was devastated when they broke up. Hearing about the concert sitting in one of my lectures freaked me out, and then hearing I got tickets made me cry. Sitting in the O2 waiting for them to come on stage was unreal, and then hearing Charlie's voice just made it all hit home, and at that moment my life was made. It was probably the best concert I have ever been to, and it will have to take something amazing to top it!

So I guess the most recent thing to happen is my holiday. I just got back from Greece, and I forgot how much I love being in a different country. Being able to lie around the pool and do nothing it just so appealing, but it's not just that. I know running away from your problems is not always the best solution, but escaping for a little while was definitely what the doctor ordered. I also forgot how much the sea calms me, but all this holiday talk is something that you will find out later. 

So over these past couple of months many different things have happened. There have been many many highs, but then extremely low points. But as I said at the beginning, I need to just talk about it (or type I guess). This has been useful. It's been fun remembering what has happened, and thinking back to the memories that have been made. Now, back to normal blogging things! You've heard enough about my life now, I guess a good break is needed.

Speak to you soon

Girl Without a Plan, Making Plans

xoxo

p.s. I also had my birthday in this time soooo wooooo!!! Being 19 and the last of my teenage years makes me sad, but lets not brew on that for too long!!

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