Dealing With The Unexpected...

Hey There!

Over this past year, I have had to deal with so many unexpected things that I feel like I'm becoming an expert at it. When I say unexpected, I'm not meaning the happy, surprise kind. I'm meaning the, life can't get any shitter, kind. Not all of it has impacted my family, some of it has, but some of it has impacted the families of my friends, and that hurts just as much. I guess now I have tips on how to cope when life throws you a curve ball, so maybe they can help you out when you are in need. 

1. Set yourself a set amount of time to dwell on the news

When you hear something shocking and unexpected, it can completely knock the wind out of you. I freak out, panic, sob my way through the news I get, but that doesn't help anyone. I try and set myself maybe 2 hours at most to dwell on the news. I can do whatever I want during those two hours. I can cry myself through toilet rolls, or I can get angry and chuck stuff around, but once they are up this has to finish. You have to carry on when things get tough because otherwise you get stuck, and you get dragged down deeper and deeper until it consumes you (like quicksand). I know it is easier said than done, believe me, but you have to keep doing your thing and trying to move forward.

2. Go out for a walk

This is a nice escape. When you hear something you don't want to hear, getting fresh air is a good place to start. It can calm you down, but it can also help you process things as well. This time walking without headphones is okay because you can be left alone with your thoughts. You can take on board the things you have heard, and then let that sink in for a while. Once you end up back at your house again you can have more of a clear head. It doesn't solve things, but it keeps you from going mad inside your house.

3. Stay distracted

This is the best thing to do once you have had time to think about things. You cannot let your thoughts consume you, so you have to keep your mind occupied. It could be through cooking, cleaning, or even just watching a film. If you can distract yourself for even a minute, things seem better for a short amount of time, and slowly but surely these minutes will turn into hours and you'll find yourself moving forward. 

4. Give yourself a mental slap
This always works for me because once my Nan passed away, I now have her voice inside my head every single day. That might sound crazy, but it really helps in situations that I didn't see coming. I can imagine her telling me to "pull yourself together" and then giving me a slight tap, and that makes me feel better. It works though even by using your own voice. We are always talking to ourselves, even if you don't want to admit it. Listening to your own voice and having a go at yourself can be the perfect pep talk you need to pull yourself together and try and get on with things. 

5. Be with friends and family

This is probably the best, and most popular piece of advice out there. Whenever something happens, it is always best to be surrounded by family and those who love you. That's the only way you can get through things. But sometimes even family can feel like too much, and that is when you need your friends. If they are anything like mine, they will wait for you to open up about things, so if you don't want to, they are the best distraction. They will keep you laughing, and when things can't get any worse, they will always be there to help you get back together. But remember, you have to be there for them as well as they need you just as much as you need them. 

I get these pieces of advice may not be for you. I completely understand that. We are all individuals that deal with things differently, and no two of us are the same. But one thing I do know is that we are all strong enough to get through anything. I have no idea how long I have felt empty now and felt things cannot improve, but I'm plodding along. These points got me through the initial stages of hearing the news, but I'm still working on others to try and properly move on in life. 

Any advice will be greatly appreciated, and I'm sure other people will want help as well. 

Girl Without A Plan, Making Plans
xoxo

P.S. I hope this helps at least one person out there because everyone needs a little help at some point (even if they are behind a computer screen)