Book Review: The Things We Can't Change Series by Kassandra Kush

Hi There!

"Just because something doesn't feel good, doesn't mean it isn't good for you."

3.5/5

So I am currently on a book phase. I recently bought a Kindle, even though vowing I never would because I would miss turning the page of a book so much, but I DO NOT regret it at all! The ease of being able to buy a book and straight away read it is sooo appealing, and it has definitely made me read a heck of a lot more. And this series of books was on the top of my lists to read! It may be relatively old (if you class the first book coming out in 2013 old!), but that would never put me off, and hopefully it wouldn't put any of you lot off either!!

So what is this series about? There is wayyyy too much going on for me to explain. But let me try and simplify it for you. Evangeline Parker and Ezekiel Quain could not be more different in terms of lifestyle. One is rich, has a "perfect life", a boyfriend that loves her, while the other has a strained family life, works as much as possible, and a front that is always up. Their paths cross after Evie's boyfriend Tony is caught abusing her and Zeke tries to intervene. You'd think it would be simple from here and Tony would stop, but that wouldn't be much of a book, yet alone a series, would it! You get to follow both of their stories through the five short books. How their lives interconnect, their relationship, and how they need each other through the hard times they experience. But most of all, they need each other to help heal.

The best part of this series is seeing Evie and Zeke's relationship evolve. They are people from completely different backgrounds with completely different groups of friends. But once they find they need each other, they have to adapt as Evie starts to face the brunt of a lot of rumors that Zeke is involved in to. The way Zeke learns how to help Evie handle her issues, and how Evie learns how to get Zeke to deal with his feelings is one of the most realistic things. Not everyone deals with situations the same, so you need to learn how to help others who are not like you, and that is exactly what these books teach you. You want to see these characters succeed and successfully handle their problems, but not only that, you are also willing them to get together because I mean. COME ON! They are the cutest people. (when you read the end of book 3 just be prepared for feels okay!)

The problem though is that this books becomes slightly unrealistic in terms of how bad things can get. If anything bad in the world can happen, it will happen to either Zeke or Evie. I know some people in life can be extremely unlucky, but if you read these books you'll think your life is as cheery as anything because they definitely have worse lives than you. 

These books teach readers many things. The feelings of being in an abusive relationship, helping someone in an abusive relationship, feelings of grief, feelings of abandonment. This series has everything. Reading it at the time I have, where I am going through a loss in the family, I have found it has actually helped. Some of the ways Evie and Zeke were helping each other helped me to understand the way I am feeling. Don't get me wrong, sometimes these books got so dark I had to give myself a break from reading them, but then I guess it's all part of life. 

If you ever want to read a short collection of books, this series is one for sure. The issues these books deal with are some few people you know may experience, but the feelings are something everyone deals with. It helps you to understand how you need to act to help others, and how your feeling is normal. 

So go on and read them! Stop reading this! But get used to cliffhangers, they are killer ones!

Girl Without A Plan, Making Plans

xoxo

Losing Someone Who Was Never Really There...

Hey There!

I feel like every time I have a heart-to-heart post it gets more and more depressing, and if I'm honest, that's just how my life is going at the moment. 

So on the 8th of July 2016 at 1:30am I lost my Grandad peacefully in his sleep. I did not know until the morning when I heard my Dad get a phonecall at around 6am, and I knew exactly as I heard that phone ring that my heart was going to break that day, again. When my Mum and Dad came into my bedroom, sat on my bed, and broke the news, I cried for a while. Anyone would who had just lost their Grandad, as well as their Nan within the same year. But then I had a little smile on my face because I realised they would be together again. I can imagine what they are like together, as I was lucky enough to get 18 long years of seeing them together, so I can picture my Nan moaning at my Grandad to get the ironing done and about what took him so long to get up there! 

I can imagine you're thinking, "what does the title of this blog post have to do with anything?", but don't you worry, I will tell you. My Grandad suffered with Alzheimer's. Anyone who knows someone with this disease knows how much of a struggle it is to see someone suffer like this. They start to lose their on identity, and it is like they are already passing away in front of your eyes but their body is still with you. He suffered with this disease for a number of years, so I guess you can say I started to lose my Grandad about 6 years ago. I could see he wasn't himself, even if I was only 13 and just about understanding what was going on. He wasn't the man I grew up with and used to go on holiday with so I guess I have been able to prepare myself for this day for a number of years. 

In July last year, just over a year ago to this day, my Nan had her first heart attack, and this was when we first thought about putting my Grandad in care. After much discussion the family went with the idea, and believe me when I say this, it helped. As a family, we didn't understand the strain of looking after him for my Nan, and it is something we wished we had done months, maybe years even, before. Obviously for a while the focus was on my Nan in the family because she was the one who needed the care and the looking after as she was now living on her own. But then once she passed, we knew we had to step up for my Grandad. 

Personally, once he went in the home I did not go and visit him. I couldn't put myself through that. I knew he wouldn't know who I was, and I couldn't have my heart break any more through that. Seeing my Grandad the last times I did, I just about recognised him as the man who cared for me and always pushed me to achieve my goals. My Mum and Dad tried to visit him once a week, or at least every fortnight, and they found it tough as they were seeing him lose himself and get worse and worse. We were all prepared for him to pass. We knew he was getting worse and the home told us to start preparing ourselves, and that is something I wasn't prepared to do. I had just lost my Nan, who was probably the closest person I have ever been to and will ever be to, and I didn't want to lose another Grandparent. They practically raised me for crying out loud! So these past few days I have been living in a constant anxious state waiting for a phonecall for the news, and getting that phonecall was a relief this morning because I knew he was in a better place with my Nan. 

I guess what I am trying to say from this post is that losing someone who you never really saw, or who was never really there, is tough. It hurts exactly the same. But losing someone to Alzimier's over such a long period of time can be extremely painful. You are losing them for years at a much slower pace, and if that person is in a home, it is okay if you don't see them that or often, or at all. It is nice to remember someone for how they used to be. You want to remember them when there were happy times, and there was not the constant worry of what could happen next. No one is judging you for how you deal with the situation. We all cope in different ways, and I guess for me, leaving my Grandad with how I used to remember him is how I wanted it to be. I'd much rather remember playing crazy golf with him and doing crossword puzzles round his kitchen table, than him not knowing who I was and not being able to understand a word of what he was saying. 

I'm going to end this with a quote that I think best describes this situation right now. Some of you may be going through the same kind of thing, or some may have just lost a loved one. We can all be there for each other in one way or another, just remember that.

When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure. 

Girl Without A Plan, Making Plans

xoxo